Broken Dreams & Twinkle Lights

Life isn't always easy. It has a way of reminding us of our fragility, how easily we can bend and break in the face of loss, betrayal, unrequited love, an unexpected health crisis or grief over losing a friend, child, parent or partner. And when it rains, sometimes it pours, an unrelenting derecho that refuses to leave.

And yet, we are more resilient than we ever thought. We learn to let go of the crushing weight of disappointment. We heal, we move on, and when life cruelly rejects our thoughtful plans, we forge a new and different path forward. We brush off our knees. We make lemonade. We learn lessons in the midst of our despair and then we reach out to someone else whose anguish suddenly looks familiar. We lean into those we love and allow them to see our raw, naked realization that life is not always how we want it to be. We admit, even in the midst of today's suffocating expectations of perfection, that we are not without flaws, without weakness. We are, in fact, humans.

In the novel, 'Mixed', Farrah and Corrina supported each other through some of life's cruelest surprises. Some of their life changing conversations occurred late in the evenings. Ideas were aggressively challenged, regrets were uttered and forgiveness was bestowed under the twinkling lights hung high above the patio. They remained a constant in each other's lives to celebrate the good and to hold each other up when the winds of life tried to blow them down.

My husband and I live in the mountains and are surrounded by nature. When the storms rage across the states, we inevitably lose trees. Those giant, strong oaks sometimes bend and break under the force of the mighty squall lines. Sometimes we remove them and plant others in their place. But every once in a while, a tree bends its will in the face of the storm but still finds another way to survive.

There is one tree, so special, that I can see from the back of my house. It was knocked over by a storm but it continues to bloom every spring. I love it so much that I wrapped it in solar-powered twinkle lights. It reminds me that even when my dreams are broken and I'm force to find a new way, my imperfect life can still grow into something beautiful.

*If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 988 or visit 988.lifeline.org